Photo: http://s18.photobucket.com/albums/b147/dysenterycian182/?action=view¤t=ExplodingWatermelon.jpg
Despite all the time real men spend putting things together, they still enjoy watching things come apart. Real men enjoy breaking things. They like to see stuff explode, scatter, burst, shatter, and combust. To them, there’s something about the thrill of watching a thing that was once whole quickly become un-whole, and fly off in various directions.
For instance, if the copy machine in an office breaks down and needs to be disposed of, or if it the toner is low, the first thing all the real men in the office should think is “is it appropriate to throw it off the top of the building?”
Such activity was surely part of early men’s lives. After prehistoric men stripped a whooly mammoth of meat and fur, they probably threw the skeleton off a cliff just to watch the bones shatter into fragments. Yes, the reason paleontologist have such trouble finding a complete skeletal structure is partly because of that.
Food and drink certainly are not immune to men’s destructive instinct. Most recently, real men have been combining diet cola and Mentos as an efficient and effective way to get a bottle to explode. Before that it was water and dry ice. Squash and melons are also victims. Not a Halloween goes by without a real man chucking a pumpkin, and not a summer goes by without a watermelon being dropped off a roof.
While destruction of things like electronics, containers, and edibles may be viewed as detrimental to society, taking away such opportunites will likely be harmful to manhood. As instinct and history have shown, it is preserved by small, harmless explosions.
